Mr. IVF

MR. IVF (賴醫師女兒的父親節感文，IVF 是試管嬰兒的簡寫)



So who is this Mr. IVF?



In certain contexts a man is perhaps identified and placed according to his occupation. Society will often aid in this catagorisation and will deparcate the person according to popular convention. However, on the 8th August, this same man is defined in a completely different way. He is known as a 'Father'. Suddenly, society asks us to re-evaluate the persons closest to us as private individuals who have taken on the enormous task of raising children. What we often use to define these people is perhaps no longer valid, or does not take on as much significance. For example, the amount of time and energy devoted to work is not necessarily desirable any longer as we view these individuals as fathers. We start to consider how these individuals spend their time and how they interact with their families. We start to see the hopes, aspirations and effort invested by these individuals into their off-springs in the anticipation of something greater than themselves.



Dr Lai is no exception. Although he is deeply committed to ensuring good outcomes for his patients and always treats them with compassion and respect, I see him as 'Dad', not Dr Lai. Both he and my mother have always wanted me to have all the opportunities they can possibly give me. And this included the best education in the best environment they could envisage. The method in which this was achieved may be old-fashioned, but the intent was there - to make me a well rounded individual who could appreciate the sciences and art. They have supported me through my development and encouraged me to achieve as much as I could or wanted to.



Those that have come across my father will probably agree that the most noticeable qualities about him is how gentle and generous he is. He will go out of his way to give someone a hand with the utmost humility. His belief in the goodness of people does not seem to waver or to be eroded by cynacism. My father's concept of 'self' is very much in context of his family and society. He will place himself in service of his family and friends first and foremost. Some may even feel that his generosity and selflessness are sometimes abused, but these are the essential qualities that define him and that he cannot shed without losing his integrity.



My father also has an amazing capacity to listen. When he listens; he listens with an open mind and with acceptance. He is not in any way autocratic. So many times I have pushed the boundaries in my own struggles to define myself, and my father has always given me the sense that he tries to understand and to accept the way that I think.



I respect and applaud his courage in his willingness to listen and to be challenged. I admire his humility in the way that he is always ready to accept he may be wrong. And I love him for the gentleness that he displays to everyone.



Happy Father's Day, Dad, and thank you for being exactly who you are.